


Pesterlog

by vel16



Series: JohnDaveKat [3]
Category: Homestuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-21 05:06:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16570208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vel16/pseuds/vel16
Summary: Dave and Karkat have some weird pesterlogs





	Pesterlog

**Author's Note:**

> Hey so I may format this so it looks like a canon pesterlog at some point in the future but I do not have the energy right now, sorry! You'll have to make do with this as it is.

\-- TurntechGodhead started pestering CarcinoGeneticist at 18:32 -- 

TG: hey  
TG: hey  
TG: hey karkat  
TG: hey  
TG: karkat hey  
TG: karkat  
TG: hey  
TG: hey karkat  
TG: i know youre there asshole  
TG: bro cmon  
TG: i know youre there  
TG: hey  
TG: hey  
TG: bro  
TG: hey  
TG: ha! i saw you typing douche  
TG: noone can hide from the ninja knowledge master  
TG: wtf is a ninja knowledge master why did i say that  
TG: fuck it imma own it now  
TG: ninja knowledge master at your service  
TG: cmon dude answer me  
TG: dude we havent spoken in like two whole days  
TG: are you enjoying this  
TG: do you like torturing me with your absence  
TG: your fake absence  
TG: i mean we both know you like torturing me  
TG: as our good friend rox would say:  
TG: *wink wonk*  
TG: dude  
TG: bro  
TG: bro  
TG: bro

\--TurntechGodhead [TG] sent a file - “4kk” --

TG: open that  
TG: bro  
TG: open it  
TG: youll love it  
TG: karkat  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK, DAVE!  
CG: SENDING A DICK PIC IS NOT THE WAY TO GET SOMEONE TO RESPOND TO YOU!  
TG: ...  
CG: WAIT  
CG: FUCK  
TG: hahahahahaha  
CG: OH FUCK YOU DAVE!  
TG: well if you insist  
CG: NOT WHAT I MEANT BUT OK.  
TG: bro cmon we both know you miss this  
CG: ASSHOLE.  
TG: oh ok i can send a pic of that too if you want  
CG: DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE.

\--TurntechGodhead [TG] sent a file - “ass” --

CG: DAVE I SWEAR TO GOG IF THAT IS A PICTURE OF YOUR ASSHOLE IM BREAKING UP WITH YOU.  
CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO OPEN IT.  
TG: suit yourself  
TG: its cute as all fuck though  
CG: IN WHAT WORLD CAN AN ASSHOLE BE CUTE?  
TG: its not a picture of my asshole  
TG: honestly man what kind of trollop do you take me for  
CG: …  
TG: dude  
CG: THE FILE IS LITERALLY CALLED ASS.  
TG: hey man maybe its a donkey or some shit you wont know until you open it  
CG: OK I’LL HAVE A LOOK.  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: FUCK RIGHT OFF DAVE.  
TG: it wasnt my asshole was it  
CG: HOW MANY DICK PICS DO YOU KEEP ON HAND FOR THIS SHIT?  
TG: honestly im insulted that it didnt even cross your mind that i took that right now specially for you  
TG: im sat here pantsless and for what  
CG: DAVE  
TG: for you to question my dick pic integrity  
CG: DAVE  
TG: you really dont trust me to take new fresh funky dick pics just for you  
CG: DAVE  
TG: frankly im hurt  
CG: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE WILL YOU SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT!  
TG: zipped

\--CarcinoGeneticist [CG] sent a file - “DAVE” --

TG: a file named after me  
TG: how mysterious  
CG: JUST OPEN IT  
TG: i did dude what am i looking at  
CG: OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER  
TG: oh shit man is that you  
CG: WOW DID YOU REALISE THAT ALL BY YOURSELF?  
CG: HOW COULD YOU NOT EVEN RECOGNISE YOUR OWN FUCKING BOYFRIEND!  
TG: in my defence i dont see you that often  
CG: WE SKYPE ALL THE GOGDAMN TIME  
TG: that is a rather impressive pose  
TG: i had no idea you could bend that way  
TG: oh baby *swoons*  
CG: SHUT THE FUCK UP  
CG: I’M NEVER SENDING YOU SEXY PHOTOS AGAIN  
TG: but babe every photo of you is sexy  
CG: OH FUCK OFF

\-- EctoBiologist [EB] joined the chat! --

EB: hey guys what did I miss?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is a super quick thing I wrote at work today after I got a really nice comment on another fic! I haven't felt super inspired by Homestuck recently, however I am working on a Harry Potter fic which'll hopefully be up later this month!


End file.
